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wolfsmilk: (abysm)

Author You've Read the Most Books By: In accord with a younger version of myself's relentless completionism, the assortment of authors whose entire oeuvre I've read reflect (in their collection) embarrassingly immature taste: Wilde, Mishima, Kipling, Tanizaki, Plath, Murakami Haruki, Faulkner, Kawabata, O'Connor, Sōseki. Nowadays, if I like an author (see below) I tend to move very slowly through their works, so as to savor.
Currently Reading: aside from research / coursework reading >> Pamuk's Black Book, since the summer (I like to take my time & meander through books I really enjoy); Murakami's 1Q84, which I've found insufferable but am determined to finish; The Collected Stories of Colette; and (on my Kindle) Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber & Other Stories.
Drink of Choice While Reading: Water, if anything.
E-reader or physical book: Depends on the type of book - for research-related purposes, and for re-reading old favourites, and (especially) for graphic novels: physical book. For everything else, an e-reader is fine.
Important Moment(s) in your Reading Life: Learning to read. Learning to write. Library book sales, the 50 cent rack at Odd Job, garage sales. Stealing from Borders. Learning to read critically.
Just Finished: Joan Didion's Year of Magical Thinking. (eh.)
Kinds of Books You Won’t Read: Anything my future mother-in-law has read, loved, and raved to me about.
Number of Bookcases You Own: In my apartment, only four; and only two of those actually house books. Back at my childhood home, there are another four which are overflowing, plus trunks and boxes filled with books, all of which I miss dearly.
One Book You Have Read Multiple Times: I've read most of the books I've liked multiple times...
Preferred Place To Read: In bed, or during a long train or car ride.
Quote That Inspires You from a Book You’ve Read: "I would like to write a Book which would drive men mad, which would be like an open door leading them where they would never have consented to go; in short, a door that opens into reality."
Series You Started And Need To Finish: I'm not fond of series, generally. I did work my way through the first four Song of Ice & Fire books, mainly due to being bored during a two hour commute, but I don't feel one way or another about finishing it. I never did finish Garth Nix's The Seventh Tower series that I loved in middle school - I'd like to finish that, sometime.
Three of Your All-Time Favorite Books: Snow Country, The Magic Mountain, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle.
Unapologetic Fan For: trashy science fiction, graphic novels.
Worst Bookish Habit: Starting books & never finishing them; opening my favourite books to the best parts and only reading those, over and over; skipping ahead to the end and reading the last few pages (I almost always do that).
X Marks The Spot: Start at the top left of your shelf and pick the 27th book: The Sick Rose, Satō Haruo.
Your Latest Book Purchase: Japanese Philosophy: A Sourcebook, for a course on, you guessed it, the history of Japanese philosophy.
wolfsmilk: (abysm)

a mix.

01 Razorlight - Hostage Of Love
02 Metric - Help I’m Alive
03 Standard Fare - Dancing
04 the xx - Crystalised
05 Woodpigeon - A Moment’s Peace for Mary Christa O’Keefe
06 Iron & Wine - Serpent Charmer
07 Volcano Choir - Island, IS
08 Passion Pit - Moths’ Wings
09 Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - When We Swam
10 Stornoway - Zorbing
11 Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition
12 La Roux - Bulletproof
13 Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks
14 Camera Obscura - French Navy
15 Bell X1 - West Of Her Spine
16 Carla Bruni - Quequ’un M’a Dit
17 Here We Go Magic - Only Pieces
18 Sparklehorse - Little Girl (ft. Julian Casablancas)
19 Nat Johnson & the Figureheads - Agnes
20 Phoenix - 1901
21 MSTRKRFT - Heartbreaker (ft. John Legend)
22 the Wooden Birds - Seven Seventeen
23 Darkstar - Aidys Girl is a Computer
24 the xx - Heart Skipped A Beat
25 Iron & Wine - Belated Promise Ring



Feb. 27th, 2009 11:37 am
wolfsmilk: (Default)
"I had gotten in too deep. It would have been so easy if only I could have cried. But crying wasn't an option, because I felt that far ahead of me there was something really worth crying about."

>>> )

"I guess I felt attached to my weakness. My pain and suffering too. Summer light, the smell of a breeze, the sound of cicadas – if I like these things, why should I apologize. The same with having a beer with you…" The Rat swallowed his words. "I don't know why."

What could I say.
wolfsmilk: (Default)

"Mother's always told me that if a girl kisses you, you have to make an honest woman out of her."
"Is the girl a liar?"
"No, it means you have to marry her."
"I have to marry her??"
wolfsmilk: (sullen)
"It might be good for you if our feelings were the way you want them, but I don't want them that way now. I feel remote from such things. Why won't you leave me alone? In your feelings, you come following me everywhere. There's no point in your pursuing my feelings where they are now."

"In other words, I'm a hindrance to your work."

"That's right. Or rather than you being the hindrance, your feelings that keep coming after me without understanding anything are the hindrance. I don't understand why you have to cling to my feelings when I'm working...Be more unconcerned, will you? Unconcerned. If you will be light-hearted in your feelings, then I can devote myself with an easy mind to my work. You're following me all over the place. I can't take it any longer."

"I don't really understand what you say at all. I don't feel as if I've clung to you the least little bit. But now that you say I have, I feel as if I had too. And seeing that of late I've been absolutely unable to feel light-hearted, perhaps what you say is true. Even so, what shall I do? And even if I can understand for a while, I don't have the least bit of faith that I can become like that."

"Don't bother me any more. You are you. Do whatever you want. I am I. I don't want to negotiate with you on the basis of that kind of feeling. If you do it a little more, I'm going off somewhere to be alone and do my work...I might just tell you I was going for a walk and not come back for six months or a year. That would be good."

My patience gone, I looked right at [her] with eyes full of malevolence as I said this. I really thought it would be good.

"..." Her face going slightly pale, [she] silently gazed into my face.

"I just don't understand. I seem to understand, but I don't."

"If you don't understand, you don't understand. Fine."

in t. )


The time I have spent here was spent because I thought, I knew, someday something or someone beautiful, pure, good would emerge from it. One day I would lift up my head and it would be light all around me. Until then, I sat hunched over, licking my knife.
wolfsmilk: (Default)


oh yes,

Jul. 10th, 2008 11:30 pm
wolfsmilk: (ten)
I remember the days when my biggest conscious dilemma was where to put the ! in Godspeed You Black Emperor


May. 8th, 2008 03:57 pm
wolfsmilk: (Default)
"You fool, marriage is now out of the question!" said K. When he put it to me that way, I had to agree with him.

"Why didn't you write to me earlier?" K asked angrily. But it was K who had sent absolutely no response to my first letter. I didn't think that I was the one at fault.

Raising his voice, K finally shouted, "I wish you had run away!" This made me cry. K just didn't understand. If I had run away, I would have gotten lost.

"Go ahead and cry," said K, circling around me. "You didn't take care of yourself, so you can't understand my feelings one bit. I'll tell you one thing, though; a dog can't take his own life, but a person can. If you can't understand that much, just keep on whimpering like a dog."

I wondered if I really was whimpering like a dog, which worried me so much, I stopped automatically. After I had stopped crying, I looked up and saw that K had left, and in the place he had been sitting was a small bottle of sleeping pills.

I felt that K had turned into a bottle of sleeping pills and was telling me to go ahead and die. This thought calmed me and suddenly I did want to die. I started by taking ten tablets, but three or four minutes later became terribly frightened and gulped down the rest. Feeling as though I were a post being pounded by a mallet, I fell into a deep sleep.

in in

Apr. 6th, 2008 03:48 pm
wolfsmilk: (Default)

bruised and mugged and broken and tired and fainted and fell and broke
and ate a wasp that burrowed into some Easter candy
fucked and fucked up, basically


Feb. 18th, 2008 12:57 pm
wolfsmilk: (Default)
...the posthumous account of [Hagiwara] written by his daughter Yoko paints a poignant picture of the aging poet, fascinated by stage-magic and simple conjuring tricks, drifting into alienation and persistent drunkenness. Kitahara Hakushu, in his introduction to Barking at the Moon, had likened the quality in Hagiwara's early poetry to that of a "razor soaked in gloomy scent" to the "flash of a razor in a bowl of cool mercury". The razor-edge was never seriously blunted, but its scent soured into the smell of stale beer; and Muro, in his poem on Hagiwara's death, significantly referred to the phenomena of continuing life as "for you mere saké spilt along the bar".

- Face at the Bottom of the World & Other Poems, Hagiwara Sakutaro

after dark

Nov. 29th, 2007 08:44 am
wolfsmilk: (kiss)
Takahashi smiles and looks at Mari. "Well, finally, once you become an orphan, you're an orphan till the day you die. I keep having the same dream. I'm seven years old and an orphan again. All alone, with no adults around to take care of me. It's evening, and the light is fading, and night is pressing in. It's always the same. In the dream I always go back to being seven years old. Software like that you can't exchange once it's contaminated."

Mari keeps silent.

"I try not to think about this stuff most of the time," Takahashi says. "It doesn't do any good to dwell on it. You just have to live one day at a time."

"Walk a lot; drink your water slowly."

"That's not it," he says. "Walk slowly; drink lots of water."

"One's as good as the other, I'd say."
wolfsmilk: (summur)
"How do you know when the summer is really and truly over? My dad says it's over at precisely one second after midnight on September 21st. My friend Ellen says it's over the moment you start thinking about whether to buy a three ring binder or a spiral notebook for school. But for me, the way I know the summer is a goner is when my brother Pete and Artie, the strongest man in the world, go to the beach and try to beat up the ocean. They're not crazy, just angry...angry that summer has to end. I know exactly how they feel."
wolfsmilk: (Default)
So, if I were a film student, my senior project would go something like this:

moar )

I left some out, and I have two more series I'm working on, ones of feet exclusively and ones with the people leaning against the headboard or wall. If you actually go through these and can think of a film I skipped leave a comment and let me know.
wolfsmilk: (koala bear & tree)

Some days things are just inexplicably okay.